Becoming : Part 1

I haven't had an opportunity to post over the last few days as husband hurt his back (bending to lift the baby of all things!) so I've had to fill the void left by his shoes as well as wearing mine. Lets just say that bedtime has been quite fraught without an extra pair of hands to help with the boys!

I have been thinking a lot though about this post; something that I've found frustrating if I'm honest because I'm great at thinking.....and thinking....and thinking.......and then....nothing! This has been my M.O for years and, as a result, it's a deeply ingrained habit that I haven't yet managed to break.

One thing I do know is that I want my blog to be about finding myself. That's not to say that it won't ever include other things; just that I want the main focus to be about the steps I am taking to make myself more than a mum, wife and daughter.

The other thing I know is that I want my blog to have a healthy focus on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So the question becomes, how do I marry the two? and when am I going to get started?

To answer the first part of the question, in my head, I've been thinking I should set myself a challenge. One that will allow me to open my Buffy boxset and work my way through each episode and which will also "force" me to open my creative jaws and do something with them for once.

To answer the second part, I know I want to start with some immediacy. I've spent too much time waiting and thinking already and if I don't build on the momentum that spurred me to start this blog then I'm scared it will all just fade away and that'll be it.

Fortunately, serendipity seems to be on my side as today I came across a fabulous post by more than a mum (@more_than_a) called 'First steps to rediscovering your identity'. More than a mum is about helping women to be the best mum they can be while rediscovering their identity as a woman at the same time. It's hardly surprising then that this post resonated with me!

In a nutshell, more than a mum has provided an exercise to work through which will help you to figure out your dreams and what you can do towards achieving them. The theory is that if we learn to make our own opportunities and work towards our dreams, we'll not only become a more fulfilled and fully rounded individual but we'll also be setting a great example for our kids.

You can read More than a Mum's full post  here: http://morethanamumblog.wordpress.com/2011/11/09/first-steps-to-rediscovering-your-identity/

Here we go then, here are my answers to each question in the exercise:

1. What did you want to be as a little girl?

I desperately wanted to be a famous actress on the stage and in films. I was heavily involved in amateur dramatics until I left for university and I loved every minute of it! I really wanted to study drama at a 'proper' drama school rather than go to an 'ordinary' university but I lacked confidence in myself and didn't attend the auditions I was offered. Part of me wishes I had been braver but the rest of me realises that if I had been, I wouldn't be the person I am now and I wouldn't necessarily have met my husband or had my children.

2. What would you do if you were guaranteed you wouldn't fail?

I would be writing urban fantasy novels. It's my favourite genre and I absolutely love to read. I signed up to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) but quickly realised I don't currently have space for a commitment like that at the moment; not while the baby is so little. Next year, I'll try again.

That's not the only thing though: I'd also regularly craft, sew, bake fabulous cakes and study a martial art (although I haven't decided which one yet!)

3. What do you wish you could be doing this time next year?

I wish I could reclaim my evenings so I could do more than just sit in front of the tv with the baby attached to my boob.

4. What do you wish you could be doing in 5 years time?

I wish that I could get reinvolved with my local amateur dramatics group and that in the next 5 years I could direct a production of "Steel Magnolias". This has been a long time dream of mine.

5. Where would you like to be and what would you want to be doing in 10 years time?

I wish I could be a published author with an established fan base.

6. What is something you would quite like to do that you know you can do, you just haven't got round to doing it or made time to do it?

Making fleecey winter trousers for the boys. There are also a lot of mundane jobs in the house that need doing.

7. What would you love to do but it seems like too much hard work/effort/time?

If I'm honest, most of the above.
8. What’s your crazy dream you secretly would love to do but struggle to believe it’s even possible?

Again, if I'm honest, it's my 10 year goal of becoming a published author.

The next 2 steps in the exercise are all about getting started and taking action but I'll talk about this in my next post "Becoming : Part 2", as that's where I'll tell you all about where the above has lead me, what I'll be doing next and inviting you to join in .

Before I end this post though, I'd like to share some other sources of inspiration that I came upon today:

http://www.madebytamsin.co.uk/ : for lovely crafty Christmas decorations

http://www.wagdoll.co.uk/2011/11/winter-cape-in-gray-wool-cashmere.html : to see the wonderfully glamorous oytcome of @Wag_Doll's first attempt at sewing clothing from a commercial pattern

An article in the December 2011 edition of Sew Magazine about Carrie Maclennan, author of "The Busy Girl's Guide to Sewing" who only learnt to sew last year at the age of 31 and who started with less than no skills at all

Although this post probably seems a bit random, hang on in there as I promise it will all come together in "Becoming : Part 2" and you'll see then where my thoughts have taken me. Until then, I urge you to give More than a Mum's exercise a go and if you're feeling brave enough, I'd love to hear your answers x

P.S : Husband is feeling a lot better!